You're Bald...

Item Designation: Bald-Is-Awesome!

Qliphoth Counter: NONE

Object Class: ZAYIN

Managerial Tips:

• You still seem to be keeping your silky hair… You’ve been struck by the Bald-is-awesome! beam.


• If you don’t work now, every employee, including you, will lose all their hair and become bald within a month.


• It’s not too late. 30... 29... 28...

Description: To those who are currently in the posession of hair: don't fret! This text will make it so your hair rapidly falls out! Isn't that a treat? If for some unknown reason you wanna keep your hair, come visit my Containment Unit. But why would you wanna keep that hair? It just gets in the way! Cmon, you know you want it to go away. Yeah keep on reading, you're just speeding up the process of being enbaldend. Soon everyone will be bald! Everyone will be perfect!

COGNITOHAZARD DETECTED. PLEASE OBSERVE THE FOLLOWING IMAGE TO NULLIFY EFFECTS.